Difference between revisions of "Parenting" - New World Encyclopedia

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[[Category:Politics and social sciences]]
 
[[Category:Politics and social sciences]]
 
[[Category:Psychology]]
 
[[Category:Psychology]]
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[[Category:Lifestyle]]
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[[Category:Marriage and family]]
  
 
[[Image:Parents with child Statue Hrobakova street Bratislava.JPG|thumb|250 px|Parents with child Statue, Hrobákova street, Petržalka, Bratislava]]
 
[[Image:Parents with child Statue Hrobakova street Bratislava.JPG|thumb|250 px|Parents with child Statue, Hrobákova street, Petržalka, Bratislava]]
  
'''Parenting''' is the process of raising and [[Education|educating]] a [[child]] from [[childbirth|birth]] until [[adult|adulthood]]. This is usually done in a child's [[family]] by the [[mother]] and/or [[father]] (i.e., the biological parents). Where parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, it is usually taken on by close relatives, such as older [[sibling]]s, aunts and uncles, or [[grandparent]]s. In other cases, children may be cared for by [[Adoption|adoptive parents]], [[foster parent]]s, [[godparent]]s, or in institutions (such as [[Orphanage|group homes or orphanages]]). The relationships in the family form the basis of how children will perceive themselves and the greater world. The family is the place where the individual learns the meaning of life, develops one's “whole personality,” as well as develops physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, through each of the relationships existing in the family. M. Scott Peck says that the experience of one's home life tends to shape a child's vision of the world and the pattern of future relationships. The parents' role in a child's healthy development cannot be overstated.
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'''Parenting''' is the process of rearing [[child]]ren by promoting and supporting their physical, [[emotion]]al, social, intellectual, [[moral]] and [[spirit]]ual development from [[infancy]] to [[adult]]hood. This is usually done in a child's [[family]] by the [[mother]] and [[father]] (the biological parents). Where parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, the responsibility may be taken on by close relatives, such as older [[sibling]]s, aunts and uncles, or [[grandparent]]s. In other cases, children may be cared for by [[Adoption|adoptive parents]], [[foster parent]]s, [[godparent]]s, or in institutions (such as group homes or [[orphanage]]s).  
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The relationships in the family form the basis for how children perceive themselves and the greater world. The family is the place where the individual learns the meaning of [[life]], develops one's “whole [[personality]],” as well as develops physically, [[psychological development|psychologically]], emotionally, and spiritually, through each of the relationships existing in the family. The parents' role in a child's healthy development cannot be overstated.
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==The word "parenting"==
 
==The word "parenting"==
The word '''parenting''' has recently appeared and has become very popular due to the necessity to clarify the process of [[childrearing|upbringing]] a child at [[home]] by [[parent]]s as distinctly different from the formal [[education]] of a child's [[teacher]]-[[student]] [[relationship]] at [[school]]. Therefore a parent's methods of educating a child must be different than a teacher's. At school teachers give a child general [[literacy]] and [[science|scientific]] [[knowledge]]; at home parents give a child general [[wisdom]] of [[life]] as parents themselves understand it.  
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The word '''parenting''' has drawn popular attention due to the necessity to clarify the process of [[childrearing|upbringing]] a child at [[home]] by parents as distinctly different from the formal [[education]] of a child's [[teacher]]-[[student]] [[relationship]] at [[school]]. A parent's methods of educating a child are different than a teacher's. At school, teachers give a child general [[literacy]] and [[science|scientific]] [[knowledge]]; at home, parents give a child general [[wisdom]] of [[life]] as parents themselves understand it.  
  
The term "parenting" is a derivative of the word "parent" taken as a [[verb]]. When people say "to parent" a child it means "to be a parent," or "to fulfill parental [[duty|duties]]." Since everyone who has a child has to parent he or she has their own view on what their parental duties are. Generally, the majority of parents admit that those duties are to provide for the [[basic]] [[need]]s of a child - the child's need for [[security]] and [[development]]. This implies security and development of a child's [[body]], [[mind]] and [[soul]]. In other words, it is [[physical]], [[intellectual]], and [[emotional]] and spiritual security and development.
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The term "parenting" is a derivative of the word "parent," taken as a [[verb]]. When people say "to parent" a child it means "to be a parent," or "to fulfill parental [[duty|duties]]." Generally, the majority of parents admit that those duties are to provide for the basic [[need]]s of a child—the child's need for [[security]] and [[development]]. This implies security and development of a child's [[human body|body]], [[mind]], and [[soul]]. In other words, it is physical, intellectual, [[emotion]]al, and spiritual security and development.
  
Parenting is usually done in a child's [[family]] by the [[mother]] and/or [[father]] (i.e., the biological parents). When parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, it is usually undertaken by close relatives, such as older [[sibling]]s, aunts and uncles, or [[grandparent]]s. In other cases, children may be cared for by [[Adoption|adoptive parents]], [[foster parent]]s, [[godparent]]s, or in institutions (such as [[Orphanage|group homes or orphanages]]). There are also circumstances, such as on a [[kibbutz]], where parenting is an [[wiktionary:occupation|occupation]] even when biological parents exist. [[Parens patriae]] refers to the [[public policy (law)|public policy]] power of the [[state (law)|state]] to usurp the rights of the natural parent, [[legal guardian]] or informal caregiver, and to act as the parent of any child or individual who is in need of protection (i.e. if the child's caregiver is exceedingly violent or dangerous).
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Parenting is usually done in a child's [[family]] by the [[Parenting#Mother|mother]] and [[Parenting#Father|father]] (the biological parents). When parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, it is may be undertaken by close relatives, such as older [[sibling]]s, aunts and uncles, or [[grandparent]]s. In other cases, children may be cared for by [[Adoption|adoptive parents]], [[foster parent]]s, [[godparent]]s, or in institutions such as group homes or [[orphanage]]s. There are also circumstances, such as on a [[kibbutz]], where parenting is an occupation even when biological parents are close at hand. [[Parents patria]] refers to the [[public policy]] power of the [[state (law)|state]] to usurp the rights of the natural parent, [[legal guardian]], or informal caregiver, and to act as the parent of any child or individual who is in need of protection (such as if the child's caregiver is exceedingly violent or dangerous).
  
 
==Parents==
 
==Parents==
 
===Mother===
 
===Mother===
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[[Image:Mother,Child,ReliefSculpture,SoldierField,Chicago.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Faces of mother and child; detail of sculpture at [[Soldier Field]], [[Chicago]], [[Illinois]], [[U.S.]]]]
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[[Image:Female mallard nest - natures pics edit2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Female mallard duck and ducklings.]]
  
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A '''mother''' is the [[natural]] or social female parent of an offspring.
  
[[Image:Mother,Child,ReliefSculpture,SoldierField,Chicago.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Faces of mother and child; detail of sculpture at [[Soldier Field]], [[Chicago]], [[Illinois]], [[USA]].]]
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In the case of a [[mammal]], including a [[human being]], the mother [[gestation|gestates]] her child (called first an [[embryo]], then a [[fetus]]) in the [[womb]] from [[conception (biology)|conception]] until the fetus is sufficiently well-developed to be born. The mother then goes into [[labor]] and gives [[childbirth|birth]]. Once the child is born, the mother produces [[milk]], a process called [[lactation]], to feed the child. In non-mammals, such as [[bird]]s, the mother lays [[egg]]s. The eggs may then be taken care of by either parent, or by both in rotation, sitting on them to keep them warm for a considerable time period prior to their hatching, at which point one or both feeds the chicks (often by [[regurgitation]]) until they are old enough to leave the nest. Even then, the young may follow the mother (or both parents) for a considerable time, for protection and to learn survival skills.
[[Image:Female mallard nest - natures pics edit2.jpg|thumb|250px|Female mallard duck and ducklings.]]
 
  
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Human mothers typically have a very important role in raising children. It is standard practice in [[industrialization|industrialized]] countries that a mother receive prenatal or "ante-natal care" during her [[pregnancy]] to assist her in the various issues that may arise.
  
A '''mother''' is the [[natural]] or [[Maternal bond|social]] [[female]] [[parent]] of an offspring.
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The title "mother" can be given to a woman other than a biological parent who fills this role. This is most commonly either an [[adoption|adoptive]] mother or a [[stepmother]] (the biologically unrelated [[wife]] of a child's [[father]]). The term "mother" can also refer to a person with stereotypical traits of a mother, such as nurturing and other-centeredness.  
 
 
In the case of a [[mammal]] such as a [[human]], the mother [[gestation|gestates]] her child (called first an [[embryo]], then a [[fetus]]) in the [[womb]] from [[conception (biology)|conception]] until the fetus is sufficiently well-developed to be born. The mother then goes into labour and gives [[childbirth|birth]]. Once the child is born, the mother produces [[milk]], a process called [[lactation]], to feed the child.
 
 
 
It is standard practice in industrialized countries that a mother receive prenatal or ''ante-natal care''<ref>http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/CG6</ref> during her [[pregnancy]] to assist her in several arising issues.
 
 
 
Mothers typically have a very important role in raising children, and the title ''mother'' can be given to a woman other than a biological parent who fills this role. This is most commonly either an [[adoption|adoptive]] mother or a [[stepmother]] (the biologically unrelated [[wife]] of a child's [[father]]). The term ''mother'' can also refer to a person with stereotypical traits of a mother such as nurturing and other-centredness.
 
 
 
Familiar or colloquial terms for ''mother'' in English are:
 
 
 
* ''mum'' or ''mummy'', usual in the [[United Kingdom|UK]], Australia, and parts of Canada;
 
* ''mom'' or ''mommy'', in North America (especially the U.S.), and in the Midland areas of England; especially the [[Black Country]].
 
* ''mam'' or ''mammy'', in parts of North Wales, the South Wales valleys , Ireland, Northern England and The Netherlands;
 
* ''mama'' and ''ma'', in parts of Latin America and other Spanish-speaking cultures
 
 
 
In many European languages, similar pronunciations apply; ''maman'' in French, ''mamma'' in Italian, or ''mama'' in Russian.
 
In many south Asian cultures, the mother is known as ''amma'' or ''oma'' or ''ammi'', or variations thereof. The "M" sound seems to be near universal to the word mother in many different languages; this is thought to be related to one of the first sounds an infant learns to control, the smacking of its lips together as it comes off the breast. (See [[breastfeeding]].) Many times these terms denote affection or a maternal role in a child's life.
 
  
 
In some societies, [[single mother]]hood, the state of being an unmarried mother, is treated as a serious social issue.
 
In some societies, [[single mother]]hood, the state of being an unmarried mother, is treated as a serious social issue.
  
 
===Father===
 
===Father===
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[[Image:Father with child.jpg|thumb|225px|left|Father with child]]
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A '''Father''' is traditionally the male parent of a child. Like mothers, fathers may be categorized according to their biological, social or legal [[personal relationship|relationship]] with the child. Historically, the biological relationship [[paternity]] has been determinative of fatherhood. However, [[Evidence (law)|proof]] of paternity has been intrinsically problematic and so social rules, such as [[marriage]], often determined who would be regarded as a father of the child.
  
[[Image:Father with child.jpg|thumb|240px|Father with child]]
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This method of the determination of fatherhood has persisted since [[Roman law|Roman times]] in the famous sentence: ''Mater semper certa; pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant'' ("Mother is always certain; the father is whom the marriage shows"). The historical approach has been destabilized with the recent emergence of accurate scientific testing, particularly [[Genetic fingerprinting|DNA testing]]. As a result, the [[family law|law on fatherhood]] has undergone changes.
 
 
A '''Father''' is traditionally the [[male]] [[parent]] of a child. Like [[mother|mothers]], fathers may be categorised according to their biological, social or legal [[personal relationship|relationship]] with the child. Historically, the biological relationship [[paternity]] has been determinative of fatherhood. However, [[Evidence (law)|proof]] of paternity has been intrinsically problematic and so social rules often determined who would be regarded as a father e.g. the [[Marriage|husband]] of the mother.
 
 
 
This method of the determination of fatherhood has persisted since [[Roman law|Roman times]] in the famous sentence: ''Mater semper certa; pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant'' (Mother is always certain; the father is whom the marriage shows). The historical approach has been destabilised with the recent emergence of accurate scientific testing, particularly [[Genetic fingerprinting|DNA testing]]. As a result, the [[family law|law on fatherhood]] is undergoing rapid changes. In the United States, the [[List of Uniform Acts (United States)|Uniform Parentage Act]] essentially defines a father as a man who conceives a child through sexual intercourse.
 
 
 
The most familiar English terms for ''father'' include ''dad'', ''daddy'', ''papa'', ''pop'' and ''pa''. The term father in other languages include: padre (Spanish and Italian), père (French), 아버지 (Korean), vater (German), and vader (Dutch).
 
[[Image:My Father.jpg|thumb|right|244px|Rice farmer with daughter. Kantharalak, [[Thailand]]. (January 2005).]]
 
  
 
==Religious views on parenting==
 
==Religious views on parenting==
[[Image:Vasnetsov Fatherhood.JPG|right|thumb|[[Viktor Vasnetsov]], Fatherhood]]
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[[Image:Vasnetsov Fatherhood.JPG|right|250 px|thumb|[[Viktor Vasnetsov]], Fatherhood]]
Many of the world scriptures describe the Ultimate Being, the Creator of the World, as a parent. The Jewish and Christian scriptures call God our Heavenly Father; in the Lotus Sutra the Buddha is called Father of the World; and similar statements are found in the Vedas and the Confucian classics. In many religious traditions Ultimate Reality is also recognized to be our divine Mother. Often God's Fatherhood and Motherhood are identified with Heaven and Earth, which cooperate in the creation and nurturing of humankind and the universe. Often, sacred scriptures describe God's love in terms that can be said to encompass both fatherly love—Creator, Teacher, Guide, and Savior—and motherly love—Nurturer, Fount of compassion, and Sustainer. Here are some examples World Scriptures:
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Many of the world scriptures describe the Ultimate Being, the Creator of the World, [[God]], as a parent. [[Hinduism]] compares the relationship between human beings and God to that of a father educating his sons: "God! Give us wisdom as a father gives to his sons. Guide us, O Much-invoked, in this path. May we live in light (''Rig Veda'' 7.32.26)."
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
 
Christianity. Bible, Matthew 6.9
 
 
 
God! Give us wisdom as a father gives to his sons.
 
Guide us, O Much-invoked, in this path.
 
May we live in light.
 
Hinduism. Rig Veda 7.32.26
 
 
 
I tell you, Shariputra,
 
I, too, am like this,
 
Being the Most Venerable among many saints,
 
The Father of the World....
 
I tell you, Shariputra,
 
You men
 
Are all my children,
 
And I am your Father.
 
For age upon age, you
 
Have been scorched by multitudinous woes,
 
And I have saved you all.
 
Buddhism. Lotus Sutra 3
 
 
 
You are the children of the Lord your God.
 
Judaism and Christianity. Bible, Deuteronomy 14.1
 
 
 
 
 
Anas and 'Abdullah reported God's Messenger as saying, "All [human] creatures are God's children, and those dearest to God are those who treat His children kindly."
 
Islam. Hadith of Baihaqi
 
 
 
God Himself told me that the most basic and central truth of the universe is that God is the Father and we are His children. We are all created as children of God. And He said there is nothing closer, nothing deeper, nothing more ultimate than when father and son are one: One in love, one in life, and one in ideal.
 
Unification Church Sun Myung Moon, 10-20-73
 
 
 
Why did God create the universe? The reason is that God wants to realize the relationship of Father and children centering on love. So we can come to the conclusion that the foundation of the universe is the relationship of Father and children.
 
Unification Church. Sun Myung Moon, 6-20-82
 
 
 
We are the children of our Maker
 
And do not fear that he will kill us.
 
We are the children of God
 
And do not fear that he will kill.
 
African Traditional Religions. Dinka Prayer (Sudan)
 
  
That breast of Thine which is inexhaustible, health-giving,
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The [[Judaism|Jewish]] and [[Christianity|Christian]] scriptures call God humanity's Heavenly Father. Examples include: "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name (''Matthew'' 6.9)." As well as, "You are the children of the Lord your God" (''Deuteronomy'' 14.1).  
by which Thou nursest all that is noble,
 
containing treasure, bearing wealth, bestowed freely;
 
lay that bare, Sarasvati [divine Mother], for our nurture.
 
Hinduism. Rig Veda 1.164.49
 
  
As one whom his mother comforts,
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In the ''Lotus Sutra,'' the [[Buddha]] is called Father of the World.<blockquote>I tell you, Shariputra, I, too, am like this, Being the Most Venerable among many saints, The Father of the World … I tell you, Shariputra, You men are all my children, And I am your Father. For age upon age, you have been scorched by multitudinous woes, and I have saved you all (''Lotus Sutra,'' 3). </blockquote>
so will I comfort you;
 
You shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
 
Judaism and Christianity. Bible, Isaiah 66.13
 
  
The Valley Spirit never dies.
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Similar statements are found in [[Islam]], in the ''Vedas,'' and the [[Confucianism|Confucian]] classics. <blockquote>Anas and Abdullah reported God's Messenger as saying, "All [human] creatures are God's children, and those dearest to God are those who treat His children kindly" ''(Hadith of Baihaqi)''.</blockquote> In many religious traditions Ultimate Reality is also recognized to be humanity's divine Mother: "I am Father and Mother of the world" (''Bhagavad Gita'' 9.17).  
It is named the Mysterious Female.
 
And the Doorway of the Mysterious Female
 
Is the base from which sprang Heaven and Earth.
 
It is there within us all the while;
 
Draw upon it as you will, it never runs dry.
 
Taoism. Tao Te Ching 6
 
  
O Mother of Imupa, advocate for the whole [feminine] world!
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Often God's Fatherhood and Motherhood are identified with Heaven and Earth, which cooperate in the creation and nurturing of humankind and the universe. There are sacred scriptures descriptions of God's love in terms that can be said to encompass both fatherly love—Creator, Teacher, Guide, and Savior—and motherly love—Nurturer, Fount of compassion, and Sustainer.  
What a remarkable Mother I have!
 
O Mother, a pillar, a refuge!
 
O Mother, to whom all prostrate in greeting
 
Before one enters her habitation!
 
I am justly proud of my Mother.
 
O Mother who arrives,
 
Who arrives majestic and offers water to all!
 
African Traditional Religions. Yoruba Prayer (Nigeria)
 
  
I am Father and Mother of the world.
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The family's efficacy for personal growth is such that some religious traditions equate honorable and loving relationships in the family with a template for a person’s right relationship with God. In the Talmud, for instance, it is written, "When a man honors his father and mother, God says, 'I regard it as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored me'" (Kiddushin 30b).<ref>I. Epstein, ''The Babylonian Talmud'' (New York: Soncino Press, 1948).</ref> Confucius said, “Surely proper behavior toward parents and elder brothers is the trunk of goodness” (Analects 1.2).<ref>Arthur Waley, ''The Analects of Confucius'' (New York: Random House, 1938).</ref> Jesus encouraged his disciples to relate to God as a loving father, calling him "Abba."
Hinduism. Bhagavad Gita 9.17
 
 
 
Thou art Father, Mother, Friend, Brother.
 
With Thee as succorer in all places, what fear have I?
 
Sikhism. Adi Granth, Majh M.5, p. 103
 
 
 
Love, the divine Principle, is the Father and Mother of the universe, including man.
 
Christian Science. Science and Health, p. 256
 
 
 
For God, people of the whole world are all My children. All of you equally must understand that I am your Parent.
 
Tenrikyo. Ofudesaki IV.79
 
 
 
All ye under the heaven! Regard heaven as your father, earth as your mother, and all things as your brothers and sisters.
 
Shinto. Oracle of the Kami of Atsuta
 
 
 
Mother Earth have pity on us and give us food to eat!
 
Father, the Sun, bless all our children and may our paths be straight!
 
Native American Religions. Blackfoot Prayer
 
 
 
The family's efficacy for personal growth is such that some religious traditions equate honorable and loving relationships in the family with a template for a person’s right relationship with God. In the Talmud, for instance, it is written, "When a man honors his father and mother, God says, 'I regard it as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored me'" (Kiddushin 30b).<ref> I. Epstein, ''The Babylonian Talmud'' (New York: Soncino Press, 1948).</ref> Confucius said, “Surely proper behavior toward parents and elder brothers is the trunk of goodness” (Analects 1.2).<ref>Arthur Waley, ''The Analects of Confucius'' (New York: Random House, 1938).</ref> Jesus encouraged his disciples to relate to God as a loving father, calling him "Abba."
 
 
 
==Aspects of Parenting==
 
  
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==Aspects of parenting==
 
===Providing physical security and development===
 
===Providing physical security and development===
A parent's primary responsibility is to provide physical security and ensure their child's safety. Parents provide physical [[safety]]: [[shelter]], [[clothes]], [[food|nourishment]]; they [[protect]] their child from dangers; and care for a child's physical health and well-being.
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A parent's primary responsibility is to provide physical [[security]] and ensure their child's safety. Parents provide physical [[safety]]: [[Shelter]], [[clothes]], and [[food|nourishment]]; they [[protect]] their child from dangers; and care for a child's physical health and well-being.
  
Developing a child physically refers to providing the conditions that lead to the [[health]]y [[growth]] of a child, such as [[train]]ing the body of a child through [[sport]] and physical [[game]]s; assisting the child to develop [[habit]]s of health; and to maintain regular medical well-child examinations.
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Developing a child physically refers to providing the conditions that lead to the [[health]]y [[growth]] of a child, such as [[train]]ing the body of a child through [[sport]] and physical [[game]]s; assisting the child to develop [[habit]]s of health; and to maintain regular medical well-child examinations.
  
 
===Providing intellectual security and development===
 
===Providing intellectual security and development===
Intellectual security refers to the [[condition]]s, in which a child's mind can develop. If the child's [[dignity]] is respected, and the child feels physically and emotionally safe, then he is able to learn. The parent is responsible to provide an atmosphere of [[peace]] and [[justice]] in the family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon. The ideal environment is a nurturing one, free from [[fear]]," "[[threat]]", and "[[verbal abuse]]".
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Intellectual security refers to the conditions, in which a child's [[mind]] can develop. If the child's [[dignity]] is respected, and the child feels physically and [[emotion]]ally safe, then he is able to learn. The parent is responsible to provide an atmosphere of [[peace]] and [[justice]] in the family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon. The ideal environment is a nurturing one, free from [[fear]], [[threat]], and [[verbal abuse]].
  
 
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Intellectual development means providing the opportunity to a child to [[learn]] a multitude of disciplines in a variety of ways. Traditionally the focus has been on [[reading]], [[writing]], and [[mathematics]], however additional "[[intelligence]]s" may be just as crucial to a child's academic development.<ref>Howard Gardner, ''Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.''</ref> Parents who strive to develop their child holistically will provide opportunities for their child to develop the following intelligences:
Intellectual development means providing the [[opportunity]] to a child to [[learn]] a multitude of disciplines in a variety of ways. Traditionally the focus has been on reading, writing and mathematics, however recent research by Howard Gardner has revealed additional "intelligences" that are just as crucial to a child's academic development. He has questioned the idea that intelligence is a single entity, that it results from a single factor, and that it can be measured simply via IQ tests. Parents who strive to develop their child wholistically will provide opportunities for their child to develop the following intelligences, as researched by Gardner:
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* Linguistic intelligence
*Linguistic intelligence
 
 
* Logical-mathematical intelligence  
 
* Logical-mathematical intelligence  
 
* Musical intelligence  
 
* Musical intelligence  
 
* Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
 
* Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
*Spatial intelligence
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* Spatial intelligence
*Interpersonal intelligence
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* Interpersonal intelligence
*Intrapersonal intelligence
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* Intrapersonal intelligence
  
===Providing [[Morality|moral]] and [[spirituality|spiritual]] development===
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===Providing moral and spiritual development===
Most parents educate their children within their own religious faith, spiritual traditions, [[belief]] and cultural [[convention (norm)|customs]], [[ethics]] and [[value systems]]. Every child is sacred and contains what Geoge Washington called "the spark of celestial fire called conscience. <ref>George Washington, ''Rules of Civility in Conversation Among Men'', in The Book of Virtues, edited by William J. Bennet, (NY: Simon and Schuster, 1993, pg. 18 ISBN 978-0684835778)</ref> Obedience to parents can only be founded upon trust in parents, won by their unflagging devotion to the child's best interests. As a result, gratitude, empathy and a high ethical standard will later develop. Dr. Ross Campbell proclaims that in order for a child to be able to accept her parents' standards, she must feel geuninely loved and accepted by them. Parents must make sure that a child feels unconditionally loved. <ref>Ross Campbell, M.D, ''How to Really Love Your Child'', (Victor Books, 1977 ISBN 978-0781439121)</ref>
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Most parents educate their children within their own religious [[faith]], spiritual traditions, [[belief]]s and cultural [[norm]]s, [[ethics]], and [[value systems]]. Every child may be regarded as sacred, containing "the spark of celestial fire called conscience."<ref>George Washington, ''Rules of Civility in Conversation Among Men,'' in ''The Book of Virtues,'' edited by William J. Bennet (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993, ISBN 978-0684835778).</ref>  
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[[Obedience]] to parents can only be founded upon trust in parents, won by their unflagging devotion to the child's best interests. As a result, [[gratitude]], [[empathy]], and a high ethical standard will later develop. In order for children to be able to accept their parents' standards, they must feel genuinely loved and accepted by them. Parents must make sure that a child feels unconditionally loved.<ref>Ross Campbell, ''How to Really Love Your Child'' (Victor Books, 1977, ISBN 978-0781439121).</ref>
  
 
===Providing emotional security and development===
 
===Providing emotional security and development===
To provide emotional security to a child means to secure his or her soul. It is to provide a safe loving environment, giving a child a sense of being [[love]]d, being needed and welcomed through emotional support, [[encouragement]], [[attachment]], [[caressing]], [[hug]]ging, [[touch]]ing, and so forth.
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To provide [[emotion]]al security to a child means to secure his or her [[soul]]. It is to provide a safe loving environment, giving a child a sense of being [[love]]d, being needed and welcomed through emotional support, [[encouragement]], [[attachment]], [[caressing]], [[hug]]ging, and so forth. Parents nurture their child's emotional development by providing opportunities for [[play (activity)|play]] and social activity.
  
Emotional development includes nurturing and loving one's child as well as giving a child an opportunity to love other people, to care for and serve others. The ability to love is a quality of developed soul. A child doesn't grow selfish if he or she knows what a joy it is to love another person. The family is the school of love, the place for a child to develop character and form the pattern for future relationships. <ref>Betsy and Farley Jones, ''Children of Peace''(Publisher: Holy Spirit Association., 1997 ISBN 0910621845)</ref> Parents nurture their child's emotional development by providing opportunities for play and social activity.
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Emotional development includes nurturing and loving one's child, as well as giving a child an opportunity to love other people, to care for and serve others. The ability to love is a quality of developed soul. A child typically does not grow selfish if he or she knows what a joy it is to love another person. The family is the school of love, the place for a child to develop character and form the pattern for future relationships.<ref>Betsy and Farley Jones, ''Children of Peace'' (Holy Spirit Association, 1997, ISBN 0910621845).</ref> To develop in a child an ability to love, these skills are crucial:
To developing in a child an ability to love, these skills are crucial:
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*Modeling [[empathy]] and [[compassion]] to younger and older, weaker, and sicker
**Modeling [[empathy]] and [[compassion]] to younger and older, weaker and sicker.
+
*Listening to the child's heart and letting him know his feelings are understood
**Listening to the child's heart and let him know you understand his feelings.
+
*Encouraging the child to care for others, help younger siblings, grandparents, or neighbors  
**Encouraging the child to care for others, help younger siblings, grandparents, or neighbors.
+
*Teaching a child to organize [[parties]] for other people, [[Play (activity)|play]] with younger siblings, etc.
**Teaching a child to organize [[parties]] for other people,[[Play (activity)|play]] with younger siblings, etc.
+
*Model and teach [[social skills]] and [[etiquette]]
**Model and teach[[social skills]] and [[etiquette]].
 
  
 
===Other parental duties===
 
===Other parental duties===
*Financial support: [[Money]] provided as [[child support]] by [[child custody|custodial or non-custodial parent(s)]], or the state
+
Parents are also responsible for financial support of their children. They may provide this directly on a daily basis, or the [[child custody|non-custodial parent]] may give money to the guardian in the form of [[child support]]. Beyond payment of essentials, such as [[food]], [[clothing]], and [[shelter]] parents are also responsible to pay for their children's [[healthcare]] and [[education]].
*[[Insurance]] coverage and payments for education
+
 
 +
Parents are legally responsible for medical and legal decisions regarding their children's welfare. They may also be held liable for wrongdoings carried out by their children when they are too young to take legal responsibility themselves.
  
==Parenting Across the Lifespan==
+
==Parenting across the lifespan==
{{see also|Pregnancy|antenatal care|Prenatal care|Childcare}}
 
 
===Pregnancy and prenatal parenting===
 
===Pregnancy and prenatal parenting===
During [[pregnancy]] the unborn child is affected by many decisions his or her parents make, particularly choices linked to their [[lifestyle]]. The health and diet decisions of the mother can have either a positive or negative impact on the child.
+
During [[pregnancy]] the unborn child is affected by many decisions his or her parents make, particularly choices linked to their [[lifestyle]]. The [[health]] and [[diet]] decisions of the mother can have either a positive or negative impact on the child.
  
Many people believe that parenting begins with birth, but the mother begins raising and nurturing a child well before birth.
+
Many people believe that parenting begins with birth, but the mother begins raising and nurturing a child well before birth. Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month on, the unborn baby is able to hear [[sound]], is aware of [[motion]], and possibly exhibits short-term [[memory]]. There is evidence that the unborn baby can become familiar with his or her parents' voices. Research has also indicated that by the seventh month, external [[schedule]] cues influence the unborn baby's [[sleep]] habits.  
Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month on, the unborn baby is able to hear sound, be aware of motion, and possibly exhibit [[short-term memory]]. Several studies (e.g. Kissilevsky et al., 2003) show evidence that the unborn baby can become familiar with his or her parents' voices. Other research indicates that by the seventh month, external [[schedule]] cues influence the unborn baby's sleep habits. Based on this evidence, parenting actually begins well before birth.
 
  
 
===Infants===
 
===Infants===
{{Main|psychological development}}
+
Being the parent of an [[infant]] is a major responsibility. Infants require continuous care, including (but not limited to) feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and health care.
Being the parent of an [[infant]] is a major responsibility. Infants require a lot of care including (but not limited to) feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and health care.
 
  
===Toddlers===
+
At this stage of life, the child is in the position to receive from their caregiver; they are helpless without the loving concern of adults. Infants, especially, need to receive unconditional [[love]] from their parents.
{{see also|Toddler}}
 
Parenting a [[Toddler]] is a lot of work. Parenting responsibilities during the toddler years include (but are not limited to) feeding, bathing, potty training, ensuring their safety, teaching, and attending to their well being.
 
Common parenting issues with toddlers: 
 
*[[Toilet training]]
 
*[[bathing]]
 
  
 
===Preschoolers===
 
===Preschoolers===
Parenting responsibilities for preschool age children often include (but are not limited to)feeding, bathing,teaching, ensuring their safety, and attending to their well being. Parents are expected to make decisions about preschool education.
+
Parenting responsibilities for preschool age children often include (but are not limited to) feeding, bathing, toilet training, ensuring their safety, and attending to their well being. Parents are expected to make decisions about [[childcare]] and [[preschool education]].
Issues related to parenting preschool age children:
+
 
*[[preschool education]]
+
At this age, children begin to relate to peers, usually beginning with their siblings. If they have no siblings, parents may find opportunities for them to have interactions with other children with good adult supervision, such as trusted daycare or preschool, play dates with children of neighbors, [[extended family]], or friends. These important relationships with siblings and peers are training for life. [[Sibling rivalry]] often arises, and parents are key in maintaining harmony by affirming their love for all their children.
*[[early childhood education]]
+
 
 +
===Elementary and Middle school years===
 +
Parenting responsibilities during the school years include (but are not limited to) feeding, assisting with [[education]], ensuring their safety and wellness, and providing them with a loving and nurturing home environment. In particular educational issues become significant as the child moves from [[Kindergarten]], through [[Primary education]], and [[Middle school]] levels of education.
 +
 
 +
In this age group, peer relationships, whether [[friendship]], rivalry, or [[conflict]], become a greater importance to the child. When parents have laid a strong foundation of parental love, and children have responded with filial love, they are better able to develop harmonious relationships with their peers, and to find strength in their family to weather the storms of disappointments and difficulty in less successful social situations.
  
===Elementary and Middle School Years===
+
===Adolescence===
Parenting responsibilities during the school years include (but are not limited to) feeding, assisting with education, ensuring their safety and wellness, and providing them with a loving and nurturing home environment.  
+
During [[adolescence]] children are beginning to form their own [[identity]] and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults. As they navigate [[high school]] and begin to enter the world of work, adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the [[family]] for guidance and models for how to behave. Nevertheless, parents remain influential in their development. Parents should make efforts to be aware of their adolescent’s activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation. Adolescence can be a time of high risk for children, where newfound freedoms can result in decisions that drastically open up or close off life opportunities.
Issues related to parenting school age children:
 
*[[Education]]:
 
**[[Kindergarten]]
 
**[[Primary education]]
 
  
===Adolescents===
+
A quality relationship between parent and child is a significant determinant of the behavioral health of children. Daily interactions with parents have been found to significantly reduce the risk of [[clinical depression|depression]], [[suicide]], promiscuity, [[substance abuse]], and school absenteeism.<ref>[https://addhealth.cpc.unc.edu/ Social, Behavioral, and Biological Linkages Across the Life Course] ''National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health''. Retrieved July 20, 2020.</ref> Teens who feel they have a quality relationship with their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. Even children who experience crippling social events can still lead healthy, well balanced lives. Such resilience and restoration of health has been attributed to the presence of an adult who offered personal care and guidance. With that the child’s [[self esteem]] and sense of place was reestablished. From there, the child could navigate the world.
During adolescence children are beginning to form their identity and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults. Although adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance and models for how to behave, parents remain influential in their development. Parents should make efforts to be aware of their adolescents activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation. Adolescence can be a time of high risk for children, where newfound freedoms can result in decisions that drastically open up or close off life opportunities.  
 
  
It is well established that a quality relationship between parent and child determines the behavioral health of children<ref>[http://www.teenpregnancy.org/works/pdf/Parental_Influence.pdf ''Science Says: Parental Influence and Teen Pregnancy''], Number 8 February 2004. Retrieved July 23, 2007.</ref>. In the landmark study by the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development of thousands of teenagers over a ten year period, it was found that four interactions with parents a day significantly reduced the risk of depression, suicide, promiscuity, substance abuse, and school absenteeism. Teens who feel they have a quaity relationship with their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. The relationship between parent and child has been shown to strongly influence social competence throughout childhood. In the last ten years there has been extensive research on children who have survived crippling social events and still led healthy, well balanced lives. This field is called resilience, and the one factor named over and again that brought restoration of health was an adult who offered personal care and guidance. With that the child’s self esteem and sense of place was reestablished. From there, the child could navigate the world.
+
===Young adulthood===
**[[High School/Secondary education]]
+
It is becoming more common for young adults to remain in their parent's home longer than in previous generations, and for many to return home after living independently for a period of time. It is important for parents to not see their adult children as "children" but to relate to them as adults, yet at the same time to discuss openly issues such as finances, household chores, appropriate behavior, and so forth. Honest communication and negotiation may be necessary. Especially when there is a supportive environment, young adults are more likely to remain at home or return home. In many cultures of the world, it is quite common for three generations to live together.
  
===Young Adults===
+
During this time, the young person makes career and other choices: They may attend [[college]] or other training, begin a career with significant work-related responsibilities, or enter into a romantic relationship, possibly [[marriage]]. The experiences a young person has had in their own [[family]], receiving love from their parents, relating to their siblings, and observing their parents' marital relationship, all play significant roles in determining how a child will relate to his or her own spouse and children.
**[[College/Tertiary education]]
 
  
 
===Adulthood===
 
===Adulthood===
Line 229: Line 126:
  
 
==Parenting methods and practices==
 
==Parenting methods and practices==
 +
Parenting typically utilizes rewards, [[praise]], and [[discipline]] or [[punishment]] as tools of [[human behavior|behavioral]] control. Most [[child development]] experts now agree that [[corporal punishment]] is not an effective [[behavior modification]] tool, and many parents have adopted non-physical approaches to [[child discipline]]. In some [[jurisdiction]]s, corporal punishment ([[spanking]] or whipping) has been prohibited by law.
  
Parenting typically utilizes rewards, [[praise]], and [[discipline]] or [[punishment]] as tools of [[human behavior|behavioral]] control.  Most [[child development]] experts now agree that [[corporal punishment]] is not an effective [[behavior modification]] tool, and many parents have adopted non-physical approaches to [[child discipline]]. In some [[jurisdictions]], corporal punishment (e.g., [[spanking]] or whipping) has been prohibited by law.
+
Four main '''parenting styles''' have been identified in early [[child development]] research: Authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.<ref>Diana Baumrind, Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children. ''Youth and Society,'' 9(1978): 238-276.</ref>  
 
 
 
 
Four main '''parenting styles''' have been identified in early [[child development]] research: authoritative, authoritarian and permissive and neglectful.<ref>Baumrind, D. (1978). Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children. Youth and Society, 9, 238-276.</ref>  
 
  
Authoritative parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors, and is a child-centered approach characterized by a warm, positive affect.
+
'''Authoritative''' parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialog about those rules and behaviors, and is a child-centered approach characterized by a warm, positive affect.  
  
Authoritarian parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, the use of more coercive techniques to gain compliance, little parent-child dialogue. This is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.
+
'''Authoritarian''' parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, the use of more coercive techniques to gain compliance, little parent-child dialog. This is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.  
  
Permissive parenting is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child, and is a child-centered approach characterized by warm affect.  
+
'''Permissive''' parenting is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child, and is a child-centered approach characterized by warm affect.  
  
Neglectful parenting is similar to permissive parenting but is a parent centered approach characterized by cold affect
+
'''Neglectful''' parenting is similar to permissive parenting but is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.  
 
 
Research into the child behavior outcomes associated with each type of parenting has traditionally shown a strong benefit to authoritative parenting.  These children have been shown to have more self-discipline, emotional self-control, more friends and better school performance.  However, recent research has identified a number of caveats.  First, authoritarian parenting may be more effective in certain contexts and in social groups other than those studied in early research.  Second, little research has examined the genetic influences that may underlie the findings.  For instance, harsh parenting may produce harsher children through the mechanism of genetic transmission of these traits.  [[Behavior genetics]] research is currently examining the influence of genes as they pertain to parenting styles.  The final and most important criticism of the parenting styles research is that parenting has been shown to be part of a bi-directional relationship between parent and child.  Thus, characterizing a parenting style as arising from the parent leaves out the essential influence of the child on the parent-child dyad.
 
  
 +
Outcomes associated with each type of parenting has traditionally shown a strong benefit to authoritative parenting. These children have been shown to have more self-discipline, emotional self-control, more friends, and better school performance. However, recent research has identified a number of caveats. For example, authoritarian parenting may be more effective in certain contexts and in social groups other than those studied in early research. Most significantly, parenting has been shown to be part of a bi-directional relationship between parent and child. Thus, characterizing a parenting style as arising from the parent leaves out the essential influence of the child on the parent-child dynamic.
  
 +
There have been many efforts to develop understanding of parenting, and to develop tools and educational programs to assist parents in better raising their children. Some examples follow.
  
 
===Adlerian parenting===
 
===Adlerian parenting===
[[Alfred Adler]]. a pioneer in the field of child guidance, designed parenting tools and education programs in an effort to prevent mental health problems in later life. He believed that first and foremost, humans are primarily social beings—the parent-child relationship being the most important social relationship. Other key concepts that form the foundation of Adlerian parenting philosophy are:
+
[[Alfred Adler]], a pioneer in the field of child guidance, designed parenting tools and education programs in an effort to prevent mental health problems in later life. He believed that first and foremost, humans are primarily social beings—the parent-child relationship being the most important social relationship. Other key concepts that form the foundation of Adlerian parenting philosophy are:
*People behave according to their own subjective view of reality, so to understand others, including children, you have to put yourself in their shoes.
+
*People behave according to their own subjective view of reality, so to understand others, including children, parents have to put themselves in their children's shoes
*Mutual respect between people is a cornerstone of life in a democracy. This includes men and women, races, ethnic groups, and between parents and children.
+
*Mutual respect between people is a cornerstone of life in a democracy; this includes men and women, races, ethnic groups, and between parents and children
*The "authoritative approach" (as opposed to autocratic and permissive) in parenting is most effective and include such methods as natural and logical consequences, recognizing the goals of behavior, family meetings and problem solving skills, the importance of encouragement, to name a few.
+
*The "authoritative approach" (as opposed to autocratic and permissive) in parenting is most effective and include such methods as natural and logical consequences, recognizing the goals of behavior, family meetings and problem solving skills, the importance of encouragement, to name a few
 
 
The following are current successful parenting education programs based on the work of Alfred Adler:
 
*Active Parenting
 
*Alyson Schafer's Principles, Rules, and Tools for Parenting
 
*Connexions Press, publisher of Raising Kids Who Can Series
 
*Cooperative Discipline
 
*Positive Discipline
 
*STEP-Systematic Training for Effective Parenting
 
 
 
Other models, described below,  include the  Nurturant parent model, the  Strict father model,  "[[Attachment parenting]]" and the Parent as Coach approach.
 
  
 
===Nurturant parent model===
 
===Nurturant parent model===
The '''nurturant parent model''' envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model believes that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore. The parents are responsible for protecting their child during this exploration, including protecting their child from themselves by offering guidance. A child will be picked up if the child cries because the parent wants the child to feel safe and nurtured. If a child grows up believing that its needs will be met, it will be more confident when facing challenges.
+
The '''nurturing parent model''' envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model is based on the assumption that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore. Parents are responsible for protecting their child during this exploration, including protecting their child from themselves by offering guidance. A child should be picked up if the child cries because the parent wants the child to feel safe and nurtured. A child who grows up believing that its needs will be met will be more confident when facing challenges.
 
 
The nurturant parent model is discussed by [[George Lakoff]] in his books, including ''[[Moral Politics]]'' and ''Whose Freedom?''. In these books, the nurturant parent model is contrasted with the [[strict father model]]. Lakoff argues that if the metaphor of nation as family and government as parent is used, then [[progressivism|progressive]] politics correspond to the nurturant parent model. For example, progressives want the government to make sure that the citizens are protected and assisted to achieve their potential. This might take the form of tough environmental regulations or healthcare assistance.
 
  
 
===Strict father model===
 
===Strict father model===
Line 272: Line 155:
  
 
Ideas involved in this model include:
 
Ideas involved in this model include:
* That children learn through reward and [[Child discipline|punishment]], as in [[operant conditioning]].
+
* That children learn through reward and [[Child discipline|punishment]], as in [[operant conditioning]]
* That children become more self-reliant and more self-disciplined by having strict parents.
+
* That children become more self-reliant and more self-disciplined by having strict parents
* That the parent, particularly the father, is meant to mete out rewards for good behavior as well as punish bad behavior.
+
* That the parent, particularly the father, is meant to mete out rewards for good behavior as well as punish bad behavior
  
So this model of child-rearing would involve allowing a child to cry themselves to sleep. Picking up a child when it should be sleeping might foster dependence on the parents and is not a display of discipline. In his book ''Dare to Discipline'', [[James Dobson]] advocates the strict father model. However, researchers have linked authoritarian childrearing with children who withdraw, lack spontaneity, and have lesser evidence of conscience (Maccoby & Martin, 1983).
+
So this model of child-rearing would involve allowing a child to cry themselves to sleep. Picking up a child when it should be sleeping might foster dependence on the parents and is not a display of discipline. In his book ''Dare to Discipline,'' [[James Dobson]] advocates the strict father model. However, researchers have linked authoritarian childrearing with children who withdraw, lack spontaneity, and have lesser evidence of conscience.<ref>E.E. Maccoby and J.A. Martin, "Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction."</ref>
 
 
The strict father model is discussed by [[George Lakoff]] in his books, including ''[[Moral Politics]]'' and ''Whose Freedom?''. In these books, the strict father model is contrasted with the [[nurturant parent model]]. Lakoff argues that if the metaphor of nation as family and government as parent is used, then [[conservativism|conservative]] politics correspond to the strict father model. For example, conservatives think that adults should not look to the government for assistance, lest they become dependent.  Likewise, economically productive behavior should be rewarded by incentives such as tax cuts.
 
  
 
===Attachment parenting===
 
===Attachment parenting===
'''Attachment parenting''', a phrase coined by [[pediatrician]] [[William Sears (Pediatrician)|William Sears]], is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the [[attachment theory]] in [[developmental psychology]]. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.  
+
'''Attachment parenting,''' a phrase coined by [[pediatrics|pediatrician]] [[William Sears]], is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the [[attachment theory]] in [[developmental psychology]]. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.  
  
Attachment parenting seeks to create strong emotional bonds and avoids physical punishment, with discipline being accomplished through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs. The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on holistic understanding of the child. The "[[Taking Children Seriously]]" philosophy sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them.
+
Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach inspired in part by attachment theory. Attachment theory, originally proposed by [[John Bowlby]], states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, [[Sigmund Freud]] proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal [[child development]].
  
*Parenting fundamentals:
+
Attachment parenting seeks to create strong emotional bonds and avoids physical punishment, with discipline being accomplished through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs. The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on holistic understanding of the child. The "[[Taking Children Seriously]]" philosophy sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them. Discipline through "time-out" and parental supervision is encouraged. This approach regards as [[Love]], [[Consistency]], [[Structure]], [[Motivation]], and [[Accountability]] as fundamental to parenting.
**[[Love]]
 
**[[Consistency]]
 
**[[Structure]]
 
**[[Motivation]]
 
**[[Accountability]]
 
  
*[[Discipline]]:
+
Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things their child is not capable of doing. Attachment parenting holds that it is of vital importance to the child that to be able to communicate needs to adults and to have those needs promptly met.
**[[Child time-out|Time-out]]
 
**[[Parental supervision]]
 
  
 
+
===Parent as coach===
Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach inspired in part by attachment theory. Attachment theory, originally proposed by John Bowlby, states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal [[child development]].
+
[[Life Coaching]] draws from the fields of psychology, counseling, social work, consulting, management, spirituality, and yet it is it’s own unique profession. The goal of coaching is to evoke excellence in others. The coaching model has been found to be especially effective in parenting adolescents.<ref>Diana Haskins, ''Parent as Coach'' (Portland, OR: White Oak Publishing, 2001, ISBN 978-1883697778).</ref> At this stage they are striving for independence, a natural developmental phase. This model encourages parents to switch gears from the “teaching” and “managing” role used during the younger years, to a coaching role. Coaching honors the independence and resourcefulness of the other, while at the same time provides support and evokes the best in the other. Coaching honors the uniqueness, [[creativity]], and resourcefulness of each individual. Teens respond well to this approach, as they long to feel heard and understood—two key elements in coaching.
 
 
According to Dr. Sears there are 8 ideals that foster healthy attachment between the caretaker and infant. However, none of these ideals stem directly from original attachment theory.
 
 
 
Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents attempt to foster a secure bond with their child by promoting eight "ideals," which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight ideals are:
 
 
 
# Preparation for [[childbirth]]
 
# Emotional responsiveness
 
# [[Breastfeeding]]
 
# [[Babywearing]]
 
# [[Co-sleeping]] safely
 
# Avoiding frequent and prolonged separations between parents and a baby
 
# Positive [[child discipline|discipline]]
 
# Maintaining balance in family life
 
 
 
These values are interpreted in a variety of ways across the movement. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as [[natural childbirth]], [[home birth]],  stay-at-home parenting, [[homeschooling]], [[unschooling]], the [[Genital integrity|anti-circumcision]] movement, the [[Vaccine controversy|anti-vaccination]] movement, [[natural health]], [[cooperative]] movements, and support of [[organic food]]. 
 
 
 
However, Dr. Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Dr. Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments.
 
 
 
Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things their child is not capable of.  
 
 
   
 
   
Attachment parenting holds that it is of vital importance to the survival of the child that he be capable of communicating his needs to the adults and having those needs promptly met. Dr. Sears advises that while still an infant, the child is mentally incapable of outright manipulation. Sears says that in the first year of life, a child's needs and wants are one and the same. Unmet needs are believed, by Dr. Sears and other AP proponents, to surface beginning immediately in attempts to fulfill that which was left unmet. AP looks at child development as well as infant and child biology to determine the psychologically and biologically appropriate response at different stages.
+
The Parent as Coach model teaches parents problem-solving skills, as well as ways for parents to support their children in decision making and facing challenges. The Parent as Coach Materials provides practical solutions for parents to improve and strengthen their relationships with their children.
 
 
Similar practices are called natural parenting, instinctive parenting, intuitive parenting, immersion parenting or "[[continuum concept]]" parenting.
 
 
 
===Parent as Coach===
 
Life Coaching draws from the fields of psychology, counseling, social work, consulting, management, spirituality, and yet it is it’s own unique profession. The goal of coaching is to evoke excellence in others. Author Haskins has found the coaching model to be especially effective in parenting adolescents <ref> Diana Haskins, , ''Parent as Coach''. (Portland, OR: White Oak Publishing, 2001 ISBN 978-1883697778)</ref>. At this stage they are striving for independence, a natural developmental phase. This model encourages parents to switch gears from the “teaching” and “managing” role used during the younger years, to a coaching role. Coaching honors the independence and resourcefulness of the other, while at the same time provides support and evokes the best in the other.  Coaching honors the uniqueness, creativity and resourcesfulness of each individual. Teens respond well to this approach, as they long to feel heard and understood, two key elements in coaching.
 
The Parent as Coach model <ref name=haskins/> teaches parents problem-solving skills, as well as ways for parents to support their children in decision making and facing challenges. The Parent as Coach materials provide practical solutions for parents to improve and strengthen their relationships with their children.
 
  
 
===Christian parenting===
 
===Christian parenting===
 
+
[[Christianity|Christian]] parenting is popular amongst [[evangelicalism|Evangelicals]] and [[Fundamentalism|fundamentalist]] Christian parents who see it as applying [[Bible|biblical]] principles to parenting. Information on Christian parenting may be found in publications, Christian Parenting websites,<ref>[https://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/ Family Online Magazine] Retrieved July 20, 2020.</ref> and in seminars devoted to assisting parents to apply Christian principles to parenting. Particularly influential has been [[James Dobson]] and his guide, ''Dare to Discipline.''<ref>James Dobson, ''Dare to Discipline'' (Bantam, 1982, ISBN 978-0553255287).</ref>  
[[Christianity|Christian]] parenting is popular amongst [[evangelicalism|Evangelicals]] and [[Fundamentalism|fundamentalist]] Christian parents who see it as applying [[Bible|biblical]] principles to parenting. Information on Christian parenting is found in publications<ref>http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/</ref>, Christian Parenting websites<ref>http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/christian-parenting/index.html</ref> and in seminars devoted to assisting parents to apply Christian principles to parenting. Particularly influential has been [[James Dobson]] and his guide "Dare to Discipline"<ref>Dobson, James. (1982) Dare to Discipline. Bantam. ISBN 978-0553255287</ref>.
 
  
 
While some Christian parenting models are strict and authoritarian, others are [[Gentle Christian Mothers|"grace-based"]] and share methods advocated in [[attachment parenting]] and [[positive parenting]] theories.
 
While some Christian parenting models are strict and authoritarian, others are [[Gentle Christian Mothers|"grace-based"]] and share methods advocated in [[attachment parenting]] and [[positive parenting]] theories.
 
In a study<ref>http://www.christianitytoday.com/yc/2001/005/11.128.html</ref> of Christian parents done by ''Christian Parenting Today'' in 2000, 39% have family devotions once a week or more, and 69% of parents consider Sunday school, youth and children's programs extremely important.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
==Parenting assessment==
 
There are several parent self-report measures that have been developed for use by clinicians and researchers to assess parenting, such as the Parenting Stress Index (PSI; Abidin, 1995) and Adult-Adolescent Parenting Inventory (AAPI; Bavolek, 1984).  Parenting measures can also be observational, such as the Parent-Child Interaction Assessment-II ([[Parent-Child Interaction Assessment-II (PCIA-II)|PCIA-II]]; Holigrocki, Kaminski, & Frieswyk, 1999).
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
==Notes==
 
==Notes==
 
<references/>
 
<references/>
  
==Bibliography==
+
==References==
* {{cite book | author = Lerner, Brenda Wilmoth & Lerner,  K. Lee (eds) | year = 2006 | title = Social Issues Primary Sources Collection: Family in society. | | publisher = Thomson Gale | id = ISBN 978-1414403205 }}
+
* Baumrind, Diana. "Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children." ''Youth and Society.'' 9(3)(1978): 238-276.
*{{cite journal
+
* Bavolek, S.J. ''Handbook for the Adult-Adolescent Parenting Inventory.'' Eau Claire, WI: Family Development Associates, Inc., 1984.  
  | last = Baumrind
+
* Bennet, William J. (ed.). ''The Book of Virtues''. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1996. ISBN 978-0684835778
  | first = Diana
+
* Bobel, Chris. ''The Paradox of Natural Mothering''. Temple University Press, 2001. ISBN 1566399076
  | authorlink = Diana Baumrind
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* Campbell, Ross. ''How to Really Love Your Child''. David C. Cook, 2004 ISBN 978-0781439121
  |date = 1978
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* Clarke-Stewart, A.K., F.A. Goosens, and V.D. Allhusen. "Measuring infant-mother attachment: Is the Strange situation enough?" ''Social Development.'' 10(2001): p143-169.
  | title = Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children
+
*Devine, Tony, Joon Ho Seuk, and Andrew Wilson (eds.).''Cultivating Heart and Character: Educating for Life's Most Essential Goals''. Character Development Foundation, 2000. ISBN 1892056151
  | journal = Youth and Society
+
* Dobson, James. ''Dare to Discipline''. Bantam, 1982 ISBN 978-0553255287
  | volume = 9
+
* Epstein, Isadore. ''The Babylonian Talmud''. New York, NY: Soncino Press, 1948.
  | pages = 238-276
+
* Gardner, Howard E. ''Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences''. Basic Books, 1999. ISBN 978-0465025091
  | publisher = Youth and Society}}
+
* Granju, Katie Allison, and Sears, William. ''Attachment Parenting, Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child''. Atria, 1999. ISBN 067102762X
*Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In ''Handbook of Child Psychology'' (6th ed.), edited by P. H. Mussen, vol. 4: ''Socialization, personality, and social development'', edited by E. M. Heatherington, 1-101. New York: Wiley. ISBN 0471272876
+
* Haskins, Diana. ''Parent as Coach''. Portland, OR: White Oak Publishing, 2001. ISBN 978-1883697778
* Granju, Katie Allison and Sears, William. (1999)  ''Attachment Parenting, Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child'', (ISBN 0-671-02762-X)
+
* Holigrocki, R.J., P.L. Kaminski, and S.H. Frieswyk. Introduction to the Parent-Child Interaction Assessment. ''Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic.'' 63 (3)(1999): 413-428.
*  Hunt, Jan. (2001). ''The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart'', (ISBN 0-86571-440-1) http://www.naturalchild.org/book
+
* Hunt, Jan. ''The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart''. New Society Publishers, 2001. ISBN 0865714401
* Bobel, Chris. ''The Paradox of Natural Mothering'', (ISBN 1-56639-907-6)
+
* International Educational Foundation. ''Educating for True Love''. International Educational Foundation, 2006. ISBN 1891958070
* Liedloff, Jean. ''The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost'', (ISBN 0-201-05071-4)
+
* Jones, Betsy and Farley. ''Children of Peace''. Holy Spirit Association, 1997. ISBN 0910621845
* Clarke-Stewart, A.K., Goosens, F.A., &  Allhusen, V.D. (2001). "Measuring infant-mother attachment: Is the Strange situation enough?" Social Development, 10, p143-169.
+
* Lerner, Brenda Wilmoth, & K. Lee Lerner (eds.). ''Social Issues Primary Sources Collection: Family in Society.'' Thomson Gale, 2006. ISBN 978-1414403205
*S Kraemer (1991) ''[http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/links/doi/10.1111/j.1545-5300.1991.00377.x/abs/ The Origins of Fatherhood: An Ancient Family Process]''. Family Process 30 (4), 377–392. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.1991.00377.x
+
* Liedloff, Jean. ''The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost''. Addison Wesley Publishing Company, 1986. ISBN 0201050714
*Wilson, Andrew (Editor) and International Religious Foundation (Editor). (995). ''World Scripture:A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts''. Paragon House Publishers. ISBN 1557787239.
+
*Maccoby, E.E., & J.A. Martin. "Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction." In ''Handbook of Child Psychology,'' 6th edition, edited by P.H. Mussen. New York, NY: Wiley, 1983. ISBN 0471272876
*Devine, Tony, Joon Ho Seuk and Andrew Wilson (Eds.) 2000. ''Cultivating Heart and Character: Educating for Life's Most Essential Goals''. Character Development Foundation. ISBN 1892056151
+
*Seidel, Dietrich F., and Jennifer P. Tanabe. ''Unification Insights into Marriage and Family: The Writings of Dietrich F. Seidel''. Raleigh, NC: Lulu, 2017. ISBN 978-1365592348
*International Educational Foundation. 2006. ''Educating for True Love''. International Educational Foundation. ISBN 1891958070
+
*Waley, Arthur. ''The Analects of Confucius''. New York, NY: Vintage, 1989. ISBN 0679722963
* Abidin, R. (1995). ''Parenting Stress Index: Professional Manual. 3rd Ed.'' Lutz, FL: Psychological Assessment Resources, Inc.
+
*Wilson, Andrew (ed.). ''World Scripture: A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts''. St Paul, MN: Paragon House Publishers, 1995. ISBN 1557787239
* Bavolek, S. J. (1984). ''Handbook for the Adult-Adolescent Parenting Inventory.'' Eau Claire, Wisconsin: Family Development Associates, Inc.
 
* Holigrocki, R. J, Kaminski, P. L., & Frieswyk, S. H. (1999). Introduction to the Parent-Child Interaction Assessment. ''Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic, 63''(3), 413&ndash;428.
 
  
 
==External links==
 
==External links==
 
+
All links retrieved November 18, 2022.
*[http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/ Raising Exceptional Children] Successful Parenting Techniques —  From Brigham Young University
+
*[http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/ You Can Do This: An Approach to Raising Wonderful Children]  
*[http://raisingchildren.net.au Raising Children Network] Comprehensive, expert-reviewed resource — the national parenting website of Australia
+
*[http://raisingchildren.net.au The Australian Parenting Website]  
*[http://parents.berkeley.edu/ Berkeley Parents Network]
+
*[https://www.berkeleyparentsnetwork.org/ Berkeley Parents Network]  
*[http://www.naturalchild.org Natural Child Project] Resources for parents
+
*[http://www.naturalchild.org The Natural Child Project]  
*[http://www.fight4kids.com/ Fight 4 Kids] Internet Parenting Support
+
*[http://www.childup.com/ ChildUp]  
*[http://fycs.ifas.ufl.edu/news/2006/07/being-nurturing-parent.html Being a Nurturing Parent] From the University of Florida/IFAS Department of Family Youth and Community Sciences
+
*[http://www.biblicalparenting.org The National Center for Biblical Parenting]  
*[http://www.lfcc.on.ca/mothers.html Helping Children Thrive / Supporting Woman Abuse Survivors as Mothers: A Resource to Support Parenting]
+
* [http://www.askdrsears.com/ Ask Dr Sears]  
*[http://www.edukey.net/ Daily Parenting Articles & Advice]
+
* [http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/attachment_parenting.html What is Attachment Parenting?] by Jan Hunt, The Natural Child Project.
*[http://www.biblicalparenting.org Biblical Parenting] The National Center for Biblical Parenting
+
* [http://www.naturalparenting.com.au Natural Parenting]  
*[http://www.yourparentingsolutions.com Your Parenting Solutions]The Connection Parenting Resource
+
* [http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/ Gentle Christian Mothers]  
* [http://www.bellaonline.com/site/attachmentparenting Attachment Parenting information and support forum]
+
*[http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2004/08/29/the_temperamentalist?pg=full The temperamentalist] Interview with Jerome Kagan by Christopher Shea, ''The Boston Globe'', August 29 2004.
* [http://www.attachmentparenting.org/info.shtml Attachment Parenting International]
 
* [http://www.attachmentparenting.ca Attachment Parenting Canada]
 
* [http://www.askdrsears.com/ Ask Dr Sears]
 
* [http://www.naturalfamilynews.com/index.php/category/attachment-parenting/ Attachment Parenting News]
 
* [http://www.naturalchild.org/home/ Natural Child Project]
 
* [http://www.kellymom.com/index.html Kelly Mom]
 
* [http://www.apparenting.com/what_is_attachment_parenting.html]
 
* [http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/attachment_parenting.html What is Attachment Parenting?]
 
* [http://www.naturalparenting.com.au Natural Parenting Magazine]
 
* [http://www.geocities.com/gagenmaddiesma/ Attached Mama (Geocities website)]
 
* [http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/ Gentle Christian Mothers]
 
* [http://www.healthyparenting.info/index.php  Healthy Parenting Forum]
 
* [http://www.birthecology.com Birth Ecology Project]
 
 
 
*[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A33490-2005Feb17.html The Mommy Mystique] Review of Judith Warner’s book. The Washington Post, February 20 2005
 
*[http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2004/08/29/the_temperamentalist?pg=full The temperamentalist] Interview with Jerome Kagan. The Boston Globe, August 29 2004
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
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{{Credits|Parenting|133717628|Parenting_styles|107932573|Nurturant_parent_model|82217779|Strict_father_model|100598987|Attachment_parenting|120252605|Mother|120736144|Father|120057442|}}

Latest revision as of 07:57, 18 November 2022


Parents with child Statue, Hrobákova street, Petržalka, Bratislava

Parenting is the process of rearing children by promoting and supporting their physical, emotional, social, intellectual, moral and spiritual development from infancy to adulthood. This is usually done in a child's family by the mother and father (the biological parents). Where parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, the responsibility may be taken on by close relatives, such as older siblings, aunts and uncles, or grandparents. In other cases, children may be cared for by adoptive parents, foster parents, godparents, or in institutions (such as group homes or orphanages).

The relationships in the family form the basis for how children perceive themselves and the greater world. The family is the place where the individual learns the meaning of life, develops one's “whole personality,” as well as develops physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, through each of the relationships existing in the family. The parents' role in a child's healthy development cannot be overstated.

The word "parenting"

The word parenting has drawn popular attention due to the necessity to clarify the process of upbringing a child at home by parents as distinctly different from the formal education of a child's teacher-student relationship at school. A parent's methods of educating a child are different than a teacher's. At school, teachers give a child general literacy and scientific knowledge; at home, parents give a child general wisdom of life as parents themselves understand it.

The term "parenting" is a derivative of the word "parent," taken as a verb. When people say "to parent" a child it means "to be a parent," or "to fulfill parental duties." Generally, the majority of parents admit that those duties are to provide for the basic needs of a child—the child's need for security and development. This implies security and development of a child's body, mind, and soul. In other words, it is physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual security and development.

Parenting is usually done in a child's family by the mother and father (the biological parents). When parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, it is may be undertaken by close relatives, such as older siblings, aunts and uncles, or grandparents. In other cases, children may be cared for by adoptive parents, foster parents, godparents, or in institutions such as group homes or orphanages. There are also circumstances, such as on a kibbutz, where parenting is an occupation even when biological parents are close at hand. Parents patria refers to the public policy power of the state to usurp the rights of the natural parent, legal guardian, or informal caregiver, and to act as the parent of any child or individual who is in need of protection (such as if the child's caregiver is exceedingly violent or dangerous).

Parents

Mother

Faces of mother and child; detail of sculpture at Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois, U.S.
Female mallard duck and ducklings.

A mother is the natural or social female parent of an offspring.

In the case of a mammal, including a human being, the mother gestates her child (called first an embryo, then a fetus) in the womb from conception until the fetus is sufficiently well-developed to be born. The mother then goes into labor and gives birth. Once the child is born, the mother produces milk, a process called lactation, to feed the child. In non-mammals, such as birds, the mother lays eggs. The eggs may then be taken care of by either parent, or by both in rotation, sitting on them to keep them warm for a considerable time period prior to their hatching, at which point one or both feeds the chicks (often by regurgitation) until they are old enough to leave the nest. Even then, the young may follow the mother (or both parents) for a considerable time, for protection and to learn survival skills.

Human mothers typically have a very important role in raising children. It is standard practice in industrialized countries that a mother receive prenatal or "ante-natal care" during her pregnancy to assist her in the various issues that may arise.

The title "mother" can be given to a woman other than a biological parent who fills this role. This is most commonly either an adoptive mother or a stepmother (the biologically unrelated wife of a child's father). The term "mother" can also refer to a person with stereotypical traits of a mother, such as nurturing and other-centeredness.

In some societies, single motherhood, the state of being an unmarried mother, is treated as a serious social issue.

Father

Father with child

A Father is traditionally the male parent of a child. Like mothers, fathers may be categorized according to their biological, social or legal relationship with the child. Historically, the biological relationship paternity has been determinative of fatherhood. However, proof of paternity has been intrinsically problematic and so social rules, such as marriage, often determined who would be regarded as a father of the child.

This method of the determination of fatherhood has persisted since Roman times in the famous sentence: Mater semper certa; pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant ("Mother is always certain; the father is whom the marriage shows"). The historical approach has been destabilized with the recent emergence of accurate scientific testing, particularly DNA testing. As a result, the law on fatherhood has undergone changes.

Religious views on parenting

Viktor Vasnetsov, Fatherhood

Many of the world scriptures describe the Ultimate Being, the Creator of the World, God, as a parent. Hinduism compares the relationship between human beings and God to that of a father educating his sons: "God! Give us wisdom as a father gives to his sons. Guide us, O Much-invoked, in this path. May we live in light (Rig Veda 7.32.26)."

The Jewish and Christian scriptures call God humanity's Heavenly Father. Examples include: "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name (Matthew 6.9)." As well as, "You are the children of the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 14.1).

In the Lotus Sutra, the Buddha is called Father of the World.

I tell you, Shariputra, I, too, am like this, Being the Most Venerable among many saints, The Father of the World … I tell you, Shariputra, You men are all my children, And I am your Father. For age upon age, you have been scorched by multitudinous woes, and I have saved you all (Lotus Sutra, 3).

Similar statements are found in Islam, in the Vedas, and the Confucian classics.

Anas and Abdullah reported God's Messenger as saying, "All [human] creatures are God's children, and those dearest to God are those who treat His children kindly" (Hadith of Baihaqi).

In many religious traditions Ultimate Reality is also recognized to be humanity's divine Mother: "I am Father and Mother of the world" (Bhagavad Gita 9.17).

Often God's Fatherhood and Motherhood are identified with Heaven and Earth, which cooperate in the creation and nurturing of humankind and the universe. There are sacred scriptures descriptions of God's love in terms that can be said to encompass both fatherly love—Creator, Teacher, Guide, and Savior—and motherly love—Nurturer, Fount of compassion, and Sustainer.

The family's efficacy for personal growth is such that some religious traditions equate honorable and loving relationships in the family with a template for a person’s right relationship with God. In the Talmud, for instance, it is written, "When a man honors his father and mother, God says, 'I regard it as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored me'" (Kiddushin 30b).[1] Confucius said, “Surely proper behavior toward parents and elder brothers is the trunk of goodness” (Analects 1.2).[2] Jesus encouraged his disciples to relate to God as a loving father, calling him "Abba."

Aspects of parenting

Providing physical security and development

A parent's primary responsibility is to provide physical security and ensure their child's safety. Parents provide physical safety: Shelter, clothes, and nourishment; they protect their child from dangers; and care for a child's physical health and well-being.

Developing a child physically refers to providing the conditions that lead to the healthy growth of a child, such as training the body of a child through sport and physical games; assisting the child to develop habits of health; and to maintain regular medical well-child examinations.

Providing intellectual security and development

Intellectual security refers to the conditions, in which a child's mind can develop. If the child's dignity is respected, and the child feels physically and emotionally safe, then he is able to learn. The parent is responsible to provide an atmosphere of peace and justice in the family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon. The ideal environment is a nurturing one, free from fear, threat, and verbal abuse.

Intellectual development means providing the opportunity to a child to learn a multitude of disciplines in a variety of ways. Traditionally the focus has been on reading, writing, and mathematics, however additional "intelligences" may be just as crucial to a child's academic development.[3] Parents who strive to develop their child holistically will provide opportunities for their child to develop the following intelligences:

  • Linguistic intelligence
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence
  • Musical intelligence
  • Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
  • Spatial intelligence
  • Interpersonal intelligence
  • Intrapersonal intelligence

Providing moral and spiritual development

Most parents educate their children within their own religious faith, spiritual traditions, beliefs and cultural norms, ethics, and value systems. Every child may be regarded as sacred, containing "the spark of celestial fire called conscience."[4]

Obedience to parents can only be founded upon trust in parents, won by their unflagging devotion to the child's best interests. As a result, gratitude, empathy, and a high ethical standard will later develop. In order for children to be able to accept their parents' standards, they must feel genuinely loved and accepted by them. Parents must make sure that a child feels unconditionally loved.[5]

Providing emotional security and development

To provide emotional security to a child means to secure his or her soul. It is to provide a safe loving environment, giving a child a sense of being loved, being needed and welcomed through emotional support, encouragement, attachment, caressing, hugging, and so forth. Parents nurture their child's emotional development by providing opportunities for play and social activity.

Emotional development includes nurturing and loving one's child, as well as giving a child an opportunity to love other people, to care for and serve others. The ability to love is a quality of developed soul. A child typically does not grow selfish if he or she knows what a joy it is to love another person. The family is the school of love, the place for a child to develop character and form the pattern for future relationships.[6] To develop in a child an ability to love, these skills are crucial:

  • Modeling empathy and compassion to younger and older, weaker, and sicker
  • Listening to the child's heart and letting him know his feelings are understood
  • Encouraging the child to care for others, help younger siblings, grandparents, or neighbors
  • Teaching a child to organize parties for other people, play with younger siblings, etc.
  • Model and teach social skills and etiquette

Other parental duties

Parents are also responsible for financial support of their children. They may provide this directly on a daily basis, or the non-custodial parent may give money to the guardian in the form of child support. Beyond payment of essentials, such as food, clothing, and shelter parents are also responsible to pay for their children's healthcare and education.

Parents are legally responsible for medical and legal decisions regarding their children's welfare. They may also be held liable for wrongdoings carried out by their children when they are too young to take legal responsibility themselves.

Parenting across the lifespan

Pregnancy and prenatal parenting

During pregnancy the unborn child is affected by many decisions his or her parents make, particularly choices linked to their lifestyle. The health and diet decisions of the mother can have either a positive or negative impact on the child.

Many people believe that parenting begins with birth, but the mother begins raising and nurturing a child well before birth. Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month on, the unborn baby is able to hear sound, is aware of motion, and possibly exhibits short-term memory. There is evidence that the unborn baby can become familiar with his or her parents' voices. Research has also indicated that by the seventh month, external schedule cues influence the unborn baby's sleep habits.

Infants

Being the parent of an infant is a major responsibility. Infants require continuous care, including (but not limited to) feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and health care.

At this stage of life, the child is in the position to receive from their caregiver; they are helpless without the loving concern of adults. Infants, especially, need to receive unconditional love from their parents.

Preschoolers

Parenting responsibilities for preschool age children often include (but are not limited to) feeding, bathing, toilet training, ensuring their safety, and attending to their well being. Parents are expected to make decisions about childcare and preschool education.

At this age, children begin to relate to peers, usually beginning with their siblings. If they have no siblings, parents may find opportunities for them to have interactions with other children with good adult supervision, such as trusted daycare or preschool, play dates with children of neighbors, extended family, or friends. These important relationships with siblings and peers are training for life. Sibling rivalry often arises, and parents are key in maintaining harmony by affirming their love for all their children.

Elementary and Middle school years

Parenting responsibilities during the school years include (but are not limited to) feeding, assisting with education, ensuring their safety and wellness, and providing them with a loving and nurturing home environment. In particular educational issues become significant as the child moves from Kindergarten, through Primary education, and Middle school levels of education.

In this age group, peer relationships, whether friendship, rivalry, or conflict, become a greater importance to the child. When parents have laid a strong foundation of parental love, and children have responded with filial love, they are better able to develop harmonious relationships with their peers, and to find strength in their family to weather the storms of disappointments and difficulty in less successful social situations.

Adolescence

During adolescence children are beginning to form their own identity and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults. As they navigate high school and begin to enter the world of work, adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance and models for how to behave. Nevertheless, parents remain influential in their development. Parents should make efforts to be aware of their adolescent’s activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation. Adolescence can be a time of high risk for children, where newfound freedoms can result in decisions that drastically open up or close off life opportunities.

A quality relationship between parent and child is a significant determinant of the behavioral health of children. Daily interactions with parents have been found to significantly reduce the risk of depression, suicide, promiscuity, substance abuse, and school absenteeism.[7] Teens who feel they have a quality relationship with their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. Even children who experience crippling social events can still lead healthy, well balanced lives. Such resilience and restoration of health has been attributed to the presence of an adult who offered personal care and guidance. With that the child’s self esteem and sense of place was reestablished. From there, the child could navigate the world.

Young adulthood

It is becoming more common for young adults to remain in their parent's home longer than in previous generations, and for many to return home after living independently for a period of time. It is important for parents to not see their adult children as "children" but to relate to them as adults, yet at the same time to discuss openly issues such as finances, household chores, appropriate behavior, and so forth. Honest communication and negotiation may be necessary. Especially when there is a supportive environment, young adults are more likely to remain at home or return home. In many cultures of the world, it is quite common for three generations to live together.

During this time, the young person makes career and other choices: They may attend college or other training, begin a career with significant work-related responsibilities, or enter into a romantic relationship, possibly marriage. The experiences a young person has had in their own family, receiving love from their parents, relating to their siblings, and observing their parents' marital relationship, all play significant roles in determining how a child will relate to his or her own spouse and children.

Adulthood

Parenting does not end when a child leaves home and lives independently. A parent is a parent forever, even though eventually roles may be reversed as adult children care for their elderly parents.

Parenting methods and practices

Parenting typically utilizes rewards, praise, and discipline or punishment as tools of behavioral control. Most child development experts now agree that corporal punishment is not an effective behavior modification tool, and many parents have adopted non-physical approaches to child discipline. In some jurisdictions, corporal punishment (spanking or whipping) has been prohibited by law.

Four main parenting styles have been identified in early child development research: Authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.[8]

Authoritative parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialog about those rules and behaviors, and is a child-centered approach characterized by a warm, positive affect.

Authoritarian parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, the use of more coercive techniques to gain compliance, little parent-child dialog. This is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.

Permissive parenting is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child, and is a child-centered approach characterized by warm affect.

Neglectful parenting is similar to permissive parenting but is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.

Outcomes associated with each type of parenting has traditionally shown a strong benefit to authoritative parenting. These children have been shown to have more self-discipline, emotional self-control, more friends, and better school performance. However, recent research has identified a number of caveats. For example, authoritarian parenting may be more effective in certain contexts and in social groups other than those studied in early research. Most significantly, parenting has been shown to be part of a bi-directional relationship between parent and child. Thus, characterizing a parenting style as arising from the parent leaves out the essential influence of the child on the parent-child dynamic.

There have been many efforts to develop understanding of parenting, and to develop tools and educational programs to assist parents in better raising their children. Some examples follow.

Adlerian parenting

Alfred Adler, a pioneer in the field of child guidance, designed parenting tools and education programs in an effort to prevent mental health problems in later life. He believed that first and foremost, humans are primarily social beings—the parent-child relationship being the most important social relationship. Other key concepts that form the foundation of Adlerian parenting philosophy are:

  • People behave according to their own subjective view of reality, so to understand others, including children, parents have to put themselves in their children's shoes
  • Mutual respect between people is a cornerstone of life in a democracy; this includes men and women, races, ethnic groups, and between parents and children
  • The "authoritative approach" (as opposed to autocratic and permissive) in parenting is most effective and include such methods as natural and logical consequences, recognizing the goals of behavior, family meetings and problem solving skills, the importance of encouragement, to name a few

Nurturant parent model

The nurturing parent model envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model is based on the assumption that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore. Parents are responsible for protecting their child during this exploration, including protecting their child from themselves by offering guidance. A child should be picked up if the child cries because the parent wants the child to feel safe and nurtured. A child who grows up believing that its needs will be met will be more confident when facing challenges.

Strict father model

The strict father model of parenting is one which places strong value on discipline as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world.

Ideas involved in this model include:

  • That children learn through reward and punishment, as in operant conditioning
  • That children become more self-reliant and more self-disciplined by having strict parents
  • That the parent, particularly the father, is meant to mete out rewards for good behavior as well as punish bad behavior

So this model of child-rearing would involve allowing a child to cry themselves to sleep. Picking up a child when it should be sleeping might foster dependence on the parents and is not a display of discipline. In his book Dare to Discipline, James Dobson advocates the strict father model. However, researchers have linked authoritarian childrearing with children who withdraw, lack spontaneity, and have lesser evidence of conscience.[9]

Attachment parenting

Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.

Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach inspired in part by attachment theory. Attachment theory, originally proposed by John Bowlby, states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal child development.

Attachment parenting seeks to create strong emotional bonds and avoids physical punishment, with discipline being accomplished through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs. The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on holistic understanding of the child. The "Taking Children Seriously" philosophy sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them. Discipline through "time-out" and parental supervision is encouraged. This approach regards as Love, Consistency, Structure, Motivation, and Accountability as fundamental to parenting.

Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things their child is not capable of doing. Attachment parenting holds that it is of vital importance to the child that to be able to communicate needs to adults and to have those needs promptly met.

Parent as coach

Life Coaching draws from the fields of psychology, counseling, social work, consulting, management, spirituality, and yet it is it’s own unique profession. The goal of coaching is to evoke excellence in others. The coaching model has been found to be especially effective in parenting adolescents.[10] At this stage they are striving for independence, a natural developmental phase. This model encourages parents to switch gears from the “teaching” and “managing” role used during the younger years, to a coaching role. Coaching honors the independence and resourcefulness of the other, while at the same time provides support and evokes the best in the other. Coaching honors the uniqueness, creativity, and resourcefulness of each individual. Teens respond well to this approach, as they long to feel heard and understood—two key elements in coaching.

The Parent as Coach model teaches parents problem-solving skills, as well as ways for parents to support their children in decision making and facing challenges. The Parent as Coach Materials provides practical solutions for parents to improve and strengthen their relationships with their children.

Christian parenting

Christian parenting is popular amongst Evangelicals and fundamentalist Christian parents who see it as applying biblical principles to parenting. Information on Christian parenting may be found in publications, Christian Parenting websites,[11] and in seminars devoted to assisting parents to apply Christian principles to parenting. Particularly influential has been James Dobson and his guide, Dare to Discipline.[12]

While some Christian parenting models are strict and authoritarian, others are "grace-based" and share methods advocated in attachment parenting and positive parenting theories.

Notes

  1. I. Epstein, The Babylonian Talmud (New York: Soncino Press, 1948).
  2. Arthur Waley, The Analects of Confucius (New York: Random House, 1938).
  3. Howard Gardner, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.
  4. George Washington, Rules of Civility in Conversation Among Men, in The Book of Virtues, edited by William J. Bennet (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993, ISBN 978-0684835778).
  5. Ross Campbell, How to Really Love Your Child (Victor Books, 1977, ISBN 978-0781439121).
  6. Betsy and Farley Jones, Children of Peace (Holy Spirit Association, 1997, ISBN 0910621845).
  7. Social, Behavioral, and Biological Linkages Across the Life Course National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. Retrieved July 20, 2020.
  8. Diana Baumrind, Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children. Youth and Society, 9(1978): 238-276.
  9. E.E. Maccoby and J.A. Martin, "Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction."
  10. Diana Haskins, Parent as Coach (Portland, OR: White Oak Publishing, 2001, ISBN 978-1883697778).
  11. Family Online Magazine Retrieved July 20, 2020.
  12. James Dobson, Dare to Discipline (Bantam, 1982, ISBN 978-0553255287).

References
ISBN links support NWE through referral fees

  • Baumrind, Diana. "Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children." Youth and Society. 9(3)(1978): 238-276.
  • Bavolek, S.J. Handbook for the Adult-Adolescent Parenting Inventory. Eau Claire, WI: Family Development Associates, Inc., 1984.
  • Bennet, William J. (ed.). The Book of Virtues. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1996. ISBN 978-0684835778
  • Bobel, Chris. The Paradox of Natural Mothering. Temple University Press, 2001. ISBN 1566399076
  • Campbell, Ross. How to Really Love Your Child. David C. Cook, 2004 ISBN 978-0781439121
  • Clarke-Stewart, A.K., F.A. Goosens, and V.D. Allhusen. "Measuring infant-mother attachment: Is the Strange situation enough?" Social Development. 10(2001): p143-169.
  • Devine, Tony, Joon Ho Seuk, and Andrew Wilson (eds.).Cultivating Heart and Character: Educating for Life's Most Essential Goals. Character Development Foundation, 2000. ISBN 1892056151
  • Dobson, James. Dare to Discipline. Bantam, 1982 ISBN 978-0553255287
  • Epstein, Isadore. The Babylonian Talmud. New York, NY: Soncino Press, 1948.
  • Gardner, Howard E. Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Basic Books, 1999. ISBN 978-0465025091
  • Granju, Katie Allison, and Sears, William. Attachment Parenting, Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child. Atria, 1999. ISBN 067102762X
  • Haskins, Diana. Parent as Coach. Portland, OR: White Oak Publishing, 2001. ISBN 978-1883697778
  • Holigrocki, R.J., P.L. Kaminski, and S.H. Frieswyk. Introduction to the Parent-Child Interaction Assessment. Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic. 63 (3)(1999): 413-428.
  • Hunt, Jan. The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart. New Society Publishers, 2001. ISBN 0865714401
  • International Educational Foundation. Educating for True Love. International Educational Foundation, 2006. ISBN 1891958070
  • Jones, Betsy and Farley. Children of Peace. Holy Spirit Association, 1997. ISBN 0910621845
  • Lerner, Brenda Wilmoth, & K. Lee Lerner (eds.). Social Issues Primary Sources Collection: Family in Society. Thomson Gale, 2006. ISBN 978-1414403205
  • Liedloff, Jean. The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost. Addison Wesley Publishing Company, 1986. ISBN 0201050714
  • Maccoby, E.E., & J.A. Martin. "Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction." In Handbook of Child Psychology, 6th edition, edited by P.H. Mussen. New York, NY: Wiley, 1983. ISBN 0471272876
  • Seidel, Dietrich F., and Jennifer P. Tanabe. Unification Insights into Marriage and Family: The Writings of Dietrich F. Seidel. Raleigh, NC: Lulu, 2017. ISBN 978-1365592348
  • Waley, Arthur. The Analects of Confucius. New York, NY: Vintage, 1989. ISBN 0679722963
  • Wilson, Andrew (ed.). World Scripture: A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts. St Paul, MN: Paragon House Publishers, 1995. ISBN 1557787239

External links

All links retrieved November 18, 2022.

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