Bride price

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Bride price also known as bride wealth is an amount of money or property or wealth "paid" to the parents of a woman for the right to marry their daughter. In anthropological literature bride price has often been explained in market terms, as payment made in "exchange" for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kin group. It is also an expression of the love the family has for their daughter, and their sincere effort to help the new family secure their future together.

Definitions

Bride price also known as bride wealth is an amount of money or property or wealth "paid" to the parents of a woman for the right to marry their daughter. This is often confused with dowry, which is paid to the groom, or used by the bride to help establish the new household, and dower, which is property settled on the bride by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both dowry and bride price.

The practice of bride price may include brideservice, the service rendered to the bride’s family by the bridegroom as the brideprice or part of thereof. A famous example of brideservice occurs in the Book of Genesis, when Jacob labors for Laban for fourteen years to win Rachel and Leah.

History of the tradition

The Code of Hammurabi mentions bride price in various laws, as an established custom. It is not the paying of the bride price that is prescribed, but the regulation of various aspects:

  • a man who paid the bride price but looked for another bride was not entitled to the return of it, but if it was the father of the bride who refused the match, he was.
  • if a wife died without sons, her father was entitled to the return of her dowry, minus the value of the bride price.

The Hebrew Bible and Talmud mention the practice of paying a bride price to the father of a minor girl.

The practice of the bride price is found in the Bible, in the Old Testament. Exodus 22:16-17 says: "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins." NIV

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. KJV

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 states similarly: "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days." KJV

The idea behind the bride price implied that an act of willful seduction had occurred, that at least a small amount of trickery or deception (for example, the promise of marriage) was included. Exodus illustrates an act of deception, while Deuteronomy's verse was about a rape. Interestingly, nearly the same price was to be paid for both violations.

The Greeks practiced bride price in archaic times, and in the Odyssey, Telemachus complains of the suitors wooing his mother Penelope

They are too craven to go to the house of her father Icarus, that he may himself set the bride-price for his daughter, and bestow her on whom he will, even on him who finds favor in his sight.

The custom lasted into classical times, by which time it had been become token, less valuable than the bride's dowry. The absence of bride price in classical times distinguished the Greco-Roman society from their contemporary Indo-European peoples, such as the Celts, as well as from the ancient Mediterranean societies.

In Chinese culture, an auspicious date is selected to 'Ti Qin' (literally meaning 'propose marriage'), where both families will meet to discuss the amount of the bride price demanded, among other things. A couple of weeks before the actual wedding, the ritual of 'Guo Da Li' (literally meaning 'performing the rites') takes place (on an auspicious date of course). The groom and a matchmaker will visit the bride's family bearing gifts like wedding cakes, sweetmeats and jewelry as well as the bride price. On the actual wedding day, the bride's family will return a portion of the bride price (sometimes in the form of dowry) as a goodwill gesture.

The practice of bride price also existed in India. It was primarily occurring in the lower castes, and many families had a very hard time to have the means to provide for their daughters. It was been virtually eliminated in the early twentieth century.

In parts of Africa the validity of a traditional marriage ceremony depends on the payment of a bride price which can vary from a token amount to really exorbitant figures.

Similar Traditions

A similar tradition to the bride price is the Morgengabe of medieval Germans, paid by the groom or his family to the bride. Its purpose was to secure the bride for widowhood, loss of other means of survival or loss of other property. Together the Morgengabe and dowry worked to give a start in life to a young couple, and secure the bride's future. This German tradition was followed by most people in medieval and modern Europe (all Western Europe being an outcome of Migrations of Germanic peoples), and only in recent centuries have the dowry and Morgengabe disappeared from European law.

Mahr (Arabic) is a similar tradition in Islamic marriage. It is a gift given by the groom to the bride. But unlike a bride price, it is given directly to the bride and not to her father, and it is mandated that this must be voluntary.

Lobola or Lobola (Mahadi in Sesotho, is a similar tradition in southern Africa. It is sometimes translated as Bride-price) is a traditional southern African dowry custom whereby the man pays the family of his fiancee for her hand in marriage. The custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally.

Current Bride Price Traditions

The tradition of giving bride price is still practiced in many Asian countries although the amount changing hands is more a token amount to continue the traditional ritual then an actual price-tag attached to the bride-to-be for marriage.

In Afghanistan, with ongoing war, young girls have been virtually "sold" for their valuable bride price. No one is happy about this, but as it may keep their family from starvation it continues even though prohibited by Islam.

Unlike what happened in the case of dowry, the Bride Price in India has been making a comeback in recent years due to a worsening shortage of women. Some speculate that the foeticide of female fetuses had increased the shortage of women.

In contemporary Africa, when the economy declines and there is a change to a more urban environment, the bride price seems like a pension for the aged parents. It is very controversial as parts of Africa are becoming more modernized. Some argue that it is good social policy, while others believe it encourages a slavery type situation.

In South Africa, traditionally the Lobola payment was in cattle as cattle were the primary source of wealth in African society. However, most modern urban couples have switched to using cash. The process of Lobola negotiations can be long and complex, and involves many members from both the bride's and the groom's extended families. Often, to dispel any tensions between the families, a bottle of brandy is placed on the table. This is usually not drunk; it is simply a gesture to welcome the guest family and make everyone feel more relaxed (it is known as mvulamlomo, which is Xhosa for 'mouth opener'). This tradition of is as adhered to today as strongly as ever.

However, Like other bride price situations, Lobola has numerous unintended negative side-effects. It has created a financial barrier to entry for young men looking to take a bride. It is commonplace for a couple that is emotionally ready to commit to building a life together to stay unmarried if they do not have the financial resources to satisfy the impeding traditional ritual. For those who do have the financial means, the burning issue is Lobola's opportunity cost. Young men who are in the wealth-creation stage of life feel their future is better if they invest their money elsewhere to receive significant financial returns.

The tradition in art

A famous Telugu play Kanyasulkam (Bride Price) satirized the practice and the Brahminical notions that kept it alive. Though the practice no longer exists in India, the play, and the movie based on it, are still extremely popular in Andhra Pradesh. Another book entitled The Bride Price by Nigerian woman Buchi Emecheta has also gained some popularity, and tells a very human and trans-cultural tale about maintaining identity.

References
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